I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
