let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
