Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize