I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Text me some of your sweat
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
