it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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