Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
