Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
