Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
