So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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