holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
