Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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