You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
