soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize