dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think my moral compass just broke
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