I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
