idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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