Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
