There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i dont even know how to be here
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
