When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
