He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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