remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
