..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
