an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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