Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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