If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
