nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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