epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
ugly people sure do ruin things
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
