He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize