Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize