it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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