either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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