zippers are such a cool invention
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
