Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
