i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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