The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
