So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
