i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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