i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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