I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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