erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
