What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
