i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
