some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
