Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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