curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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