Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
