physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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