Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
