the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
