at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
