He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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