Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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