That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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