Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
