I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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