Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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