Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
God, I missed his penis.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize