Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
