He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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