She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
