hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
