grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
