Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
