Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
