a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
