I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think I won the penis lottery.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
