barbara walters just said penis...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
