How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
