what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
