Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
