I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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