1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i want to swaddle you in tequila
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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