If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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