Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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