That's intense
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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