I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The beer is more important than you right now.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
