sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
